HEY Wall•E : Put the People in a Zoo!
For immediate Release------

"Put the People in a Zoo and Set the Animals Free: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" is the new book by Todd-Michael St. Pierre, it comes out world-wide in the Spring of 2009! Below read selections from the NEW book for kidz! Stay informed of details by visiting here at www.LouisianaBoy.com!

In the tradition of the late-great Shel Silverstein and the ever masterful Jack Prelutsky, comes a new crazy-wacky-thought-provoking-hilarious-gross-inspirational book! Enjoy and spread the word!

Also, you faithful fans can read tons of his work from "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" at AuthorsDen.com/Todd

26 Samples below--- (There are 160 poems in the book)...

1-The Jacaranda Tree

From the new book "Put the People in a Zoo and Set the Animals Free: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre----

~Here's the wisdom shared with me... by the Jacaranda Tree~

pronounced [za.ka.ran.da]

A friend of the wind...
I sway and I bend...
I'm the fifth season...
A poem without end...

Equatorial...
The oldest of new...
Blue Jacaranda...
More lilac than blue...

The rain forests, rich...
With hills of deep green...
I'm distantly near...
And here inbetween...

Loud silent voices...
Both heard and unheard...
The prayer that curses...
The half-spoken word...

Like a whispered shout ...
In the month: Thirteen...
Sunshine and shadow...
Both seen and unseen...

The moon at high noon...
A flame's frozen heat...
The altogether...
And thus Incomplete...

The hyper-calmness...
A dim shade of bright...
The start of endless...
A wild, wingless flight...

Blue Jacaranda...
I'm mystery and clue...
The universe vast...
Residing in YOU...

The great midnight sun...
The steep upward fall...
The bloom and the wilt...
I dwell within ALL...

I AM SPLENDIFEROUS!!!
You are SPLENDIFEROUS!!!!

Author's Comment: Yes, it's a real tree found near the equator. Do a google search or go to wikipedia and search "jacaranda tree" to see a picture of this awesome & too-beautiful-to-believe tree! :-)~

2-The Screw Up!

I cheated on a test today,
It was a BAD thing to do!
Stupid me! What was I thinking?
Should have studied... this is true !
I wrote the answers on my palm,
But what I failed to mention...
I raised my hand to say "All Done!"
And now I'm in detention!

Author's Note: It's cool when cheaters get caught! AIN'T it?

3-Mother Nature's Favorite Color

Her favorite color might be RED,
If not PURPLE or ORANGE instead.
Still, when I see a rose I think...
Well, I suppose it could be PINK.
Her favorite color must be GREEN,
With all the plants and vines, I mean ...
What else could it possibly be?
There's so much grass and greenery.
Yet, she seems fond of YELLOW too...

But... I will bet... her favorite's...

BLUE!

4-Belinda Cut the BIG Cheese

Belinda cut the BIG cheese,
On the bus from Minnesota,
And we were forced to breath it,
All the way to South Dakota!
This silent/deadly stink-bomb,
Took its toll on all of us!
Soon twenty kids were puking,
Out the windows of the bus!
That rotten egg just lingered,
The whole way to Mount Rushmore,
Belinda cut a BIG slice,
Of a cheese like NONE BEFORE!

5-DO NOT READ!!!

Do not taste the earwax!
Hear me out! I'm keeping tabs!
Never play with mucus!
Never lick the oozing scabs!

Do not pop the pimples,
As you kneel at morning mass!
Do not swallow loogies,
Should you cough one up in class!

This is your last warning...
So no matter what you do...
Do not taste the earwax...
Or drink upchuck from a shoe!

Do not dig the boogers...
Are you listening to me?
PLEASE DO NOT READ this RUDE
And Repulsive POETRY!

Author's Question: Did you go and read it anyway? Hey I warned ya!

6-Said the Mama Calendar to the Baby Calendar...

"Every calendar's days are numbered.
My child, this is sad, but very true !
So reach for joy, and please remember…
There will never be another you!
Three-hundred-sixty-five days a year,
There is a reason why you are here,
Your life has lots of purpose my dear!
You're more than paper that's white and blue!
You're more than pictures and ink and glue!
You're 12 months of FABULOUS and…

I love you!"

7-QUEEN OF IT ALL

When God was a girl she didn't care much
For dolls and Easy-Bake ovens and such.
A very smart child! A genius indeed!
"That God will go far," the people agreed.

Humble beginnings: The Outskirts of Heaven...
Skipping SIX grades when she was just SEVEN!
Graduating at only ELEVEN!

Now she's QUEEN OF IT ALL... Oh what a joy...
Don't tell me you thought that God was a BOY!

8-The Eye Of The Ostrich Is Bigger Than Its Brain
(An actual-factual poem)

OH, the eye of the ostrich is bigger than its brain,
And if I could, I would make an effort to explain.
Precisely how much bigger, I cannot be exact,
I only know they say that it's a scientific fact.
The act of thinking must be a monumental strain,
Or somewhat complicated for a bird with such a brain.
Imagine if your picture were in the dictionary...
Yes, right there next to "Bird Brain"! Shameful? Oh Yes VERY!
Think of the embarrassment and try to understand,
Why ostriches prefer their heads be buried in the sand.
That along with knowing he's a bird that cannot fly,
If he's even smart enough to stop and wonder why.
It's not always a blessing when you're born to be so tall,
I guess it isn't easy for an ostrich after all!

9- Y? OH Y?

OH, the eye of the ostrich is bigger than its brain,
Just why this is exactly, I really can't explain.
To ask would be like asking "Why does the rain fall DOWN?"
Or ..."Why can't a person be a VERB and not a NOUN?"
Or…"Why does nothing rhyme with SILVER, ORANGE or PURPLE?"
Or..."Why can't some sisters simply sip and not SLURPLE?"
Or…"How come little brothers can be a GIANT pain?"
Great Quantities of Quizzical Questions still remain!
So ask me something else and I'll repeat this old refrain…

Oh the eye of the ostrich is bigger than its brain!

10-Zootopia

Date: September 28, 2223
Place: The New San Diego Zootopian Complex
Zoo Guide: Joy St. Croix (Zebra)

"Please do not offer peanuts
To these savage human beast
They've been known to chew off legs
And consider legs a feast

Keep your limbs close to your sides
Do not put them on the bars
Way back when they had freedom
They invented things like WARS

That's why they are endangered
And at last we are in charge
Keep in mind they were hunters
And barbaric by and large

You can't trust human nature
Yes it's sad but very true
Step back and keep your distance…
This is not a petting zoo

I Repeat…

This Is NOT A Petting Zoo!"

Author's Snide Remark: Most of our species, the moronic mammals that we are, belong in a zoo, we could begin with the politicians. :-)~

11-Lioness:
Animal Interview March 25th

I dream of the African plain,
Of open grasslands fresh with rain.
A part of me still longs to prowl
And growl one satisfying growl.
These humans seem to like the zoo.
Would they if they were captive too?
I've been here awhile; probably ages,
I exist to be stared at in cages.
Give me room to run and not just to pace,
To hunt my own food in an unfenced place,
In green fields where ghosts of my ancestors roam,
This cage is not a home...
This CAGE is NOT my HOME!

Author's Note: Animals truly belong in the wild, in their natural and intended habitats! That's my conviction, and I'm standing beside it! :-)~

12-The Bedazzling Bailey Brewster

When Bailey showed up at the pageant,
Bailey Brewster was dressed to impress.
And what a sight Bailey was that night,
A jewel in a ruby red dress.

But something just seemed unusual,
And we wondered; "Oh, what can it be?"
It wasn't the rhinestone earrings or
The new handbag from old Italy.

I took my seat, watched Bailey compete,
And for talent that dear Bailey chose
To lip-sink a song from way back when...
"Now a ROSE is a ROSE, I suppose"

It was flawless, but something seemed strange
As they crowned their QUEEN, Bailey Brewster.
Looking back, it could've been the fact…
That Bailey was a BIG RED ROOSTER!

Author's Belief: No one should be mistreated because they are different. That goes for BIG RED ROOSTERS too! :-)~

13-What's in a Name?
(An Actual-Factual Poem)

The Komodo dragon's a lizard,
A sea-horse is a fish, not a horse.
Bald eagles aren't really bald and…
A titmouse is a bird of course!
The prairie dog's really a rodent.
The koala's no bear, silly you!
He's simply a marsupial,
With a pouch like a kangaroo!
American buffalo are bison,
Oh, I thought you might like to know.
So don't be fooled by a name, child,
A name can confuse things so.

14-Miss Chloe

There's NO WAY to please her!
Block the fridge with a chair!
Chain up the old freezer!
Guard the chocolate éclair!
Hide all the persimmons,
The lemons, the plums,
The briskets and biscuits,
She will only leave crumbs!
She'll wipe out the yogurt,
Each peach and each pear,
She'll chew up the spare-ribs,
With no ribs to spare!
Blue cheese and green peas,
Simply don't stand a prayer!
Hide the toast and the roast!
Be wise and beware!
Put locks on the icebox;
Take the corn by its ear,
Move the squash and goulash,
Grab the cupcakes, OH Dear,
PROTECT ALL THE PRODUCE…
And tell her there's NO JUICE!
Forget it… There's NO USE!

Miss Chloe Is Here!!!

Author's Observation: Funny thing is... She remains as skinny as a rail! Go Figure!?!? :-)~


15-TREEHUGGERS

Children of the fragile Earth gather around,
Where bird-song seems to be the loudest sound.
A place called Summer, green as you could please,
A place where we all proudly hug the trees!
Hug trees for their walnuts, apples and limes,
For the shade they offer in these warm times.
For giving squirrel and crow a place to live,
For the priceless gift of oxygen they give.
Follow me there across a woodland floor,
Beneath the tall and ancient sycamore,
Under redwood, under tall blue pine,
Come with me and form an endless line.
Join the boy whose name is simply ME,
Take your turn and hug a mighty tree!
A wish we cast upon an August breeze,
A dream to cross the seven sacred seas.
Release it now, just like a big balloon...
A prayer to reach the mountains of the moon!
To citizens of Earth at last we say...
Go find yourself a tree to hug today!
And if a grownup says 'Don't be a fool! '
Or... 'Is that what they're teaching you in school?"
Just find this poem and read this simple rhyme...
It's cool to HUG a TREE from time to time!
Children this is how the world can be....
Making Earth plan A and not plan B!
Wear
Change!
Share
Change!
Sing
Change!
Bring
Change
And start by
Hugging a tree!

Author's Opinion: It sure beats hugging an oil rig! :-)~

16-Seattle

It's raining so hard in Seattle,
We need a long boat with a paddle!
The bus stop looks like a big swimming pool,
How in the world are we getting to school?

It's raining so hard in Seattle,
We need a tall horse with a saddle!
A really tall horse should get the job done,
Fasten your seatbelts, HEY this should be fun!

Wave to the people below in the trees,
Wave to the ones in the Space needle, please!
This is more rain than I've ever seen!
Let's go to school in a blue submarine!

It's raining so hard in Seattle,
I think we had better skedaddle!
The fish have umbrellas… WOW this is COOL!
How in the world are we getting to school?

17-Natalie's (Nervous) Cleaning Service

I folded your clothes and I cleaned your commode,
I pulled every weed from the fence to the road,
I washed loads of dishes. I rinsed every tub
There's not a thing left to scour or scrub

I shined up the sinks and cleared all your clutter
I watered your flowers and raked your gutter
I mowed your lawn and trimmed all your hedges
I washed your cars then polished their edges

I fed your eight cats, your hog and your horse,
All sixteen wolves and your emus, of course
Your patio's perfect, your parlor's all clean
Your swimming pool's water is no longer green

I have certain standards, I want things pristine
This house was just filthy, I hate to be mean…
But I REALLY MUST HAVE EVERYTHING CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!

OH, say can you tell I've had TOO MUCH Caffeine?!?!?

18-The Rich Kids

The rich kids have their mall junk,
Their gaudy gifts and games.
Lots of fancy privileges
Attached to their last names.
Still I often wonder if,
They're happy like poor me...
Right here in my rundown yard...
Beneath this crooked tree?

I have the tallest, widest dreams;
My Grandma likes to say...
"We're rich with love and laughter...
Three times as rich as they!
We have the world's best garden...
Look at those purple peas...
Bet you never-ever saw...
Tomatoes... FAT like these!"

This house has broken shutters,
Rain-stains on the ceiling...
With cracks in all the gutters...
How the paint is peeling...
But we have HUGS and old dogs,
And cartwheels are still free...
I wonder if the rich kids
Are REALLY rich like me-------------?!?!?!

19-How to Get Your Way
(A 7 step program to Brathood!)

If you want something badly, 1) Clean up your room!
2) Tell your Mother you LOVE her stinky perfume!
3) Pretend that you like all the ICK stuff she cooks.
4) Practice your sweet smiles and innocent looks.

If this doesn't work…

5) Ask over and over until she says yes
(At least 50 times, not 49 or less!)
6) Then whine really loud as you tug on her arm
(The real brats, they tell me, this works like a charm!)
If this doesn't work 7) just try holding your breath
(They say that this method scares mothers to death)
Once you turn purpley she is bound to give in
If not then start over at step 1 again...

1) Clean up your room!


20-Snack Time

Chancie chose the Chocolate Chew,
Penelope picked a pickle.
Samantha simply smiled and slurped
Her slimy, green Snotsicle!

21-Leif and Dirk

Near the weathered sandbox, beyond the Big Kid's Swing,
A secret place, where we watched, Pegasus take wing!
'Til this day, the grownups say, "It was all pretend!"
Still we knew, it was as true , as the rushing wind.
You cannot see the wind... yet paper-planes still glide...
Across the yellow field, above the silver slide.
Near the broken seesaw, behind the monkey bars,
A garden waits, with blossoms, made of dreams and stars!
Past such purple daisies and blue forget-me-nots,
We created playgrounds out of gray, empty lots.
With dinosaurs we danced, new hideouts to explore...
We pardoned all the dragons... friendly at their core!
Barefoot days and unicorns, ended all too soon,
For we three explorers beneath a Children's Moon.
With my friends beside me, no trail was too scary,
Even now, grownups think "'Twas imaginary!"
Oh what great adventures, what time consuming work,
What well-crafted business for me and Leif and Dirk...
Dirk was made of dirt and yes, Leif was made of leaves,
Once upon a Summer at my Aunt Genevieve's!

22-Worm Noodle Soup

You've heard about "Green Eggs and Ham,"
'Bout Snotsicles and June-bug Jam.
Some REAL GROSS foods in songs and books,
Wait till you hear what my Dad cooks...
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's even worse than Sloggety-Sloop!
Worm Noodle Soup: That Stuff's for birds!
It taste SO BAD there are no words!
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's right up there with Gaggley-Goop!
The Smell! The Stench! The Aftertaste...
Of all the meals I've ever faced...
Worm Noodle Soup! Worm Noodle Soup!
It's even worse than Parrot Poop!
Of all the things I DO NOT Like...
Don't make me start a HUNGER STRIKE!
I'd sooner eat a HOOLA-HOOP!
I CANNOT STAND WORM-NOODLE SOUP!!!

23-The Perfect Payback

"Oh it's the perfect payback!" said the elephant and ape…

"Though I'm sure they'll raise a ruckus and plan a big escape!"

"Bet they'll find it hard to laugh!" said the zebra and giraffe.

"Plus they'll seldom ever smile!" said the papa crocodile.

"And they'll beg to leave I know!" said the baby flamingo.

"Then they'll know just how we feel!" said the walrus and the seal.

"Guess they'll finally get a clue!" said the mama kangaroo.

"At last we would have JUSTICE!" said the bear and chimpanzee…

"Put the people in a zoo and set the animals free!"

&-a-1 &-a-2 &-a-1-2-3-4…

Put the people in a zoo and set the animals free!
Oh that's just what I would do if you left it up to me!
Lock the humans up instead and just throw away the key...
Put the people in a zoo and set the animals free!

Put the people in a zoo and set the animals free!

Put the people in a zoo and set the animals free!

By golly!

It works for me!!!

Author's Insight: Maybe we should let the animals have dominion over the Earth... just to see how they do, I mean they can't treat this planet any worse than we have! Right? I say let them have a go at it, mate! :-)~

24-Nutty Megan

Nutty Megan, the nutmeg nut
A mega-nut for nutmeg
Loves it enough
To sprinkle the stuff
On a hard-boiled Easter egg

When she orders a hotdog…YEP…
She mixes it with mustard
When she eats a
Giant pizza
It's topped with nutmeg custard

Nutty Megan, the nutmeg nut
A mega-nut for nutmeg
She has been known
To use it on
A deep-fried turkey leg

She carries it in her back-sack
To add a kick to her lunch
At a big shindig
Disguised in a wig
Meg was caught spiking the punch…

With nutmeg!!!

What else???

25-On the Way to Walla Walla

On the way to Walla Walla, Wash-ing-ton,
From a place called Po-ca-tello,
In Boise, where we stopped to get Wash-ing-done,
A laundromat cat played cello,
His marvelous music made the Wash-ing-fun,
What a fancy, feline fellow!
On the way to Walla Walla, Wash-ing-ton,
From a place called Po-ca-tello.

26-Computer Mice

Can anyone give me advice . . . ?
What to do with computer mice?
At night they come out
And race all about.
Each mouse and its spouse
Invading my house.
They wreck my office
And they're not too nice.
What to do with computer mice?

Wait, I hadn't thought about that -

Perhaps, I'll get a computer cat!

To schedule a visit with Author & Storyteller Todd-Michael St. Pierre for your school, library, book festival or bookstore please contact his publicist , Cynthia Randolph... CrandolphNY@Gmail.com  

Todd-Michael lives in Austin, Texas (The Bluest City in the Reddest State). Where he writes full-time from his office near the banks of the Colorado River! He is also author of the New Orleans Cookbook "Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, File Gumbo: Cajun & Creole Cuisine" which has been featured in Cooking Light, Southern Living, The Denver Post, The San Francisco Chronicle & AOL Food. He has served as a judge for the Reading Rainbow Young Writers & Illustrators Contest. Other children's books include "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" & "Makin' Groceries: A New Orleans Tribute" which is in honor of his hometown. (Order any of these at Amazon).

His new cookbook "French Quarter Cookbook: The Famous & Fabulous Flavors of New Orleans" hits stores in March of 2009!